Just keep jogging...

I've been exercising my butt off lately. Running on the treadmill, doing crunches...and you know, i actually have energy again!
True, i still need my morning coffee to deal with the 6am wake up calls from luke, but i'm no longer tempted to go back to bed. I actually get stuff done! Shocking.
On the other hand, running on a treadmill at a gym, surrounded by incredibly fit women who havn't had babies and feeling my pancake of a stomach move around can be more annoying that waiting in line at the dmv.

Do you ever get those days where you feel like you'll never reach your goal and you'll just be in post-preggo limbo for life?
ugh. rats.

xoxo
rae

SUNRISE

One wild thing about parenthood

is that seeing the sunrise

is no longer a novel thing.

I remember when Andrew and I 

would share a bottle of wine and

stay up to watch the sun rise.

It was so magical

and romantic

and now, it means that i've been up

wayyyyy too long

and more than likely, have big black circles

around my eyes.

sigh.

{One of the MANY sunrises we saw from our hospital window}

I can say that i'm 

VERY

thankful for the Winter Olympics

which air til around 5am

and keep my occupied during long

nights with a crabby

and very much awake,

baby.

I am completly addicted to the Olympics.

I think I have a problem. 

Sometimes i stay up and watch them

even after i've gotten luke to sleep.

How sad :D

The War on Breastfeeding

Okay, so maybe I'm a little late in seeing this magazine cover, but none the less i feel a very strong need to talk about it. Major controversy over breastfeeding in public sparked after Babytalk magazine featured a baby feeding from it's mother's breast on it's cover in 2006. The MSNBC article about the backlash can be seen here.

To the women who believe that a breast is solely sexual object, way to contribute to the objectification of your fellow woman. We need to be supporting each other, especially in this area of great importance, not tearing each other down. It is not okay to feel forced into breastfeeding your child in a bathroom stall because of the negative comments and reactions of other women. How does one even go about doing that, I personally think I'd be lost without my Bobby pillow! A woman has the right (morally and legally) to care for and nurture her child (aka breastfeed) wherever she needs to. That being said,to me, the issue of public breastfeeding all has to do with how it's done. It's one thing to pull your naked breast out in the middle of the restaurant and another to nurse your baby but in a more discreet manner. Personally, I'm all about the latter method. Today, breastfeeding moms have so many (fashionable!) options, why would you not want to take advantage of them! Breastfeeding is between mom and baby and for them both, not for opinionated on-lookers. I breastfeed my infant son in public with my nursing shawl that completely covers my breast and my feeding baby. Mine is called the Hooter Hider by Bebe Au Lait and it's an absolutely wonderful invention! I've nursed my son with it in a tiny coffee shop, at a friend's baby's birthday party (a normally crazy stressful environment for a nursing mom, kids and cake, need i say more?). Another cool cover is the Love'd Baby Nursing shawl, more of a poncho style (believe me, I had a hard time deciding!). With so many options customizable to every mom, what better time than now to breastfeed your baby?! Moms of the world, go out to lunch, the park, the mall, wherever, and breastfeed again with pride and confidence!

How cute!!

Breastfeeding is a beautiful and natural thing that women have done to feed their babies since the beginning of humanity. Breastfeeding provides nearly 100 nutrients that cannot be found in or reproduced in formula. It also lowers the risk of SIDs (sudden infant death syndrome), and lowers the risk of childhood cancers and juvenile diabetes. Not to mention that breast milk is custom made for your infant's needs and desires, also making it the perfect food to digest in their tiny bodies. Because breast milk leaves very little residue in the colon (whereas formula leaves more), breastfed babies are rarely constipated. Breast milk also provides valuable antioxidants that give your child a huge immune system boost and protection against developing allergies. And how about a significantly lower risk of your child becoming obese and/or developing asthma.

And then mama, there are the benefits to you! Breastfeeding is all-around healthy for the mother's body. Did you know that it causes your uterus to shrink faster after pregnancy? That means you're one step closer to getting your body back. And as if that were not enough reason to yes to the breast, it is now proven that the mother who breastfeeds lowers her risk of breast and ovarian cancers. For more facts on breastfeeding, visit La Leche Leauge and Fit Pregnancy online!

Seriously breastfeeding moms, the odds are in your favor. But now, how about the law? What rights does a breastfeeding mom have as allotted by her state and government? To find out, click here to visit the National Conference of State Legislatures or here for La Leche League International. Both sites provide great information and most importantly, arm you with your legal mama rights.

On another note, I am NOT AT ALL bashing bottle feeding. I believe that as a mother, the way you choose to feed your baby is a personal choice. True, I feel that the advantages of breastfeeding your baby outweigh the disadvantages (for both of you), but no one can tell you which method is right for you. And let's face it ladies, breastfeeding is not always the easiest route. I had so many problems with it initially, pain, soreness, bleeding...the list goes on, that i almost quit. But I was determined to breastfeed and after lots of practice and toughening, I was finally able to do it and it's been one of my most proud accomplishments. I also couldn't have done it without the Medela Nipple Sheild which provides a barrier between your nipple and your baby, allowing them to eat while your nipple heals from temporary soreness.

Breastfeeding is your right as a mom and if you choose to do it, then don't let anyone stop you!

♥

Rae

A Direct Shot

The amazing thing about baby boys, is that they have immpeciable aim. This fact is something that, unfortunatly, i had to learn the hard way.


As soon as that diaper comes off, you better be quick and i mean like lightening, least you get sprayed by the out-of-control baby hose. Normally, i'm pretty good at this. I get my wipe ready and put the clean diaper right under the old one so i can do a super quick, out with the old in with the new diaper change. It's normally my fiance that seems to get hit by the unwelcome pee-stream. 
SO you can imagine my horror when, last week, I was changing Luke in bed (not the best idea but i was tired and lazy at the time) when I was suddenly struck square in the face with the fabled baby pee direct shot. 
I was so shocked that it took me a good few seconds to cover him up, by which time he'd already soaked half of my bed. Rats.
I think I had let myself become too over confident in my diaper changing skills and over-looked the cardinal rule: stay alert. I had failed my stay in bed and go right back to sleep mission. I ended up having to get up and wash my now defeated sheets (and self).


In moments like this, I try to remind myself not to cry. 
Does crying while you're laughing count?




♥
Rae
 

Sleepyhead

Some days, simply waking up feels like my biggest accomplishment.

I knew sleep would be hard to come by once the baby

was born, but it's so much harder than i thought.

Bleary eyes, dark circles, jungle woman hair and clothes covered in spit-up.

I mean seriously, I hoped i would keep it more together.

A shower has become the best part of my day;

when i can clean myself up, put the pieces back together,

and take time to revel in the sweet moments of the day.

When I emerge, I feel a bit more whole;

a bit more like myself.

In the shower I can think, I can breathe, I can re-connect to the 

part of myself that sometimes gets lost in the chaos of the day.

Come on tired little body, come on, up up up!

And then i hear my baby stirring in his bassinett next to our bed and i know that no matter how comfortable my bed is, the day is starting and my baby-shaped alarm clock won't wait.

So, up it is.

At all hours, my body is a baby eat-all-you-want buffet.

Somehow

pre-baby

i had never considered this notion.

And it's realization is both beautiful and terrifying.

My body feeds his body.

Woah.

After baby eats, burps, has a fresh diaper and takes his first cat nap of the day, i make my day's most fateful decision:

do i stay up and get some things accomplished?

OR

do i go back to that warm, fresh cotton bed?

Each day the answer is different and suddenly the days are flying by and i can't believe i've already survied my (almost) first two months of motherhood!

Whether i go back to bed or not,

i feel accomplished.

♥

Rae

A Photographic Memory

This past month with baby Luke has been so amazing!

From a swollen, very cheeky newborn, to a one month old 10lb boy, every moment (even the ones with seriously poopy diapers and never-ending baby cries) has been a miracle.

We couldn't be happier!

Happy Friday!

♥

Andrew, Luke & Rae

Happy moments

It's the little things that really make your day feel special.

Today, i'm happy for the fact that I got six and a half hours of sleep!

With a one month old, that truely is an accomplishment.

Yes, the sleep was not consecutive, the routine nursing & diaper changing tend to split up sleep but hey, i'll take what i can get these days!

I'm happy that my fiance, Andrew, came home from work early yesterday, giving me a break from Luke's alter-ego, demon baby (you know, the one with the glowing red eyes, ear-piercing cry even after a bath, full belly, a good burb, fresh diaper & clean clothes...whew!).

Best part about this moment? 

Spending time together as a family of three 

(well, five if you count the doggies Pekoe & Mya!)

And of course, making Brenner (Breakfast for dinner, a duh!) with my man

while listening to Marvin Gaye.

Oh how I love banana pancakes for dinner!

The Okay I got from doctor two days ago to start working out again in TWO MORE WEEKS!!!

I can't wait to start loosing this baby weight (and quit drooling over my skinny jeans that have been collecting dust for the past 9 months...oh, how sad!)

I'm planning on breaking out my yoga mat, which got some use while I was pregnant, but i think it would like a bit more devoted attention.

Okay yoga mat, I hear you, I hear you!

And finally, today i'm happy about the simple idea of spending time at home with my son.

I get to hear his little squeeks and coos, look into his bright blue eyes, and read him Harry Potter, Winnie the Pooh and Curious George.

So when I want to freak out at one of the dogs for peeing on the rug...again, I'm making a pact with myself to remember the sweet little moments.

♥

Rae

 

Labor: A personal biography

This having been my first baby, i was entirely unsure of what to expect during labor. Sure, I had read What To Expect When You're Expecting and just about every article I could get my hands on from Fit Pregnancy. But honestly, no matter how much you read, you can never be "ready" for your unique birthing experience; you can only be a little more prepared.

That being said, my birthing plan was a killer playlist (curtosy of my ipod) and an epidural. Though I have a few tattoos, i'm not really one for pain (i hyperventalated during my IV insert). I would have loved to have had a no-drugs, natural child birth, preferably where the room was dark, lit only by a few candles, insense smoke puffing by my nose, while the nurses and doctors chanted meditation songs in my pimped out Tahitian birthing tent...seriously, that would be my ideal, thought maybe the Tahiti thing takes it too far...

Anyways, I would have loved to have had a natural birth and to all you women out there who have done it or are even considering doing it, kudos to you ladies! You are some super awesome, tough mamas! Even with all the birthing classes in the world, I know myself and my pain threshold and I know that the au-natural route just isn't right for me.

But hey!

There's the first step!

You gotta know you!

I went into labor knowing that my little guy had been "dropped" for over 3 weeks already and I had been told he would be small, around 7.5lbs (what a JOKE). When I first arrived at the hospital at 5am, they said since i wanted an epidural for labor and because Luke was so low, they were going to give me the injection right then and there. I told them I didn't think that I needed it just yet, I was not in terrible pain after all and I wanted to allow labor to progress naturally as long as possible. 

So what happened?

They gave me the epidural anyway, which slowed down labor, bringing the total running time to 20 hours. Because labor slowed, they injected me with Pitocin to speed it up, which then made the contractions too fast and they were literally strangling my baby. When his heart rate dropped, they cut off the Pitocin and Luke's vitals stabalized. When I finally hit 10cm and was ready to push, (as only my luck would have it) the damn epidural wore off and they had to give me a triple dose for it to even work which of course, numbed me to hell (i couldn't have closed my legs if i wanted to!).

Three hours of pushing with little to no progress and I heard those dreadful words(dreadful to me at least): "We're going to have to do a c-section."

Ouch.

Shit.

No!

I cried and cried and swore up and down that I could do it, I would be the best pusher they'd ever seen. I wasn't so convincing I guess because a minuet later my temperture started rising and an anesthesiologist had shot me up to the moon on numbing drugs. Though I had cotton mouth and vertigo during my surgery, I ended up with a beautiful, healthy baby boy. A 9 POUND 10 OUNCE baby boy! 

When I first heard I was having a c-section, i felt like i had failed in some way; there was something i hadn't done (i knew i should have gone to that lamaze class!). I felt like I had been robbed of my right of passage as a woman (but didn't hundreds of women get c-sections everyday?). In my hazed of hospital lights and drugs I didn't have much time to think. It was only after it was all over that I felt empty somehow. That is, until I looked into my son's eyes for the first time. There he was, this beautiful, perfect baby who had spent the last nine months swimming inside of my tummy. Here was the baby who had given me morning sickness, kicked me in the ribs, gave me cankels...and who from the moment I discovered him growing inside of me, gave me an undeniable happiness. Sure, I hated the side effects of pregnancy (no one out there like's being constipated and filled with enough acid to disolve a nail) but what pregnancy brings, what it brought me...was well worth the discomfort.

♥

Rae

"This Is My Message To You"

Nothing can compare to that moment when you first find out, “I'm pregnant!”. Maybe that exclamation mark came with uncontrollable joy, a wave of fear, or maybe a bit of both. But one thing can be said to be true for all: it is a moment that shakes the very ground beneath your feet and your life will never, ever be the same.

Of my personal experience, I was engaged and in the middle of planning my wedding to my wonderful chef fiancé. I was finishing up college and we were shopping for a first place together. And then, I noticed my period hadn't come yet. Next, my breasts felt like hardened cement on my chest (“hi, nice to meet you, like my rock tits?”). And then, but of course, came the nausea.

So you could say I was a bit concerned about the possibility of pregnancy and it's ever-increasing signs in my body. So naturally two weeks later, the constant procrastinator (yes even with pregnancy, what can I say, it's a chronic problem) I decided to (finally!) take a pregnancy test. And as usual, timing everything ever so perfectly, I took it right before Andrew (hubby-to-be) and I were heading out to a friend's party. There was one very dark pink line and...one barely-there-what-do-you-think-omg-it-can't-be...line. We made the speediest beeline to Walmart you can imagine, all the while driving in an adrenaline-soaked silence. We tore through the pharmacy department, grabbed four more pregnancy tests, and drove home. (okay, maybe we sped a wee bit).

Four more tests later and it was a confirmed fact: I was pregnant and we were having a baby!

Shock: check

Nervousness: double check

True, we hadn't planned on having children for a few more years (preferably after the wedding but i'm all for breaking convention), and we were still pretty young (early 20's), but here it was; the pink plus sign we couldn't ignore. Andrew and I were in love, deeply, head-over-heels in love...so what was I so afraid of?

For one thing, I still had a year of college left and so did Andy. For another, we didn't exactly have a lot of money, and finally, I thought there was no way in hell I could do this whole mom thing. I mean, I can barely cook without burning something and I have always been terrified of holding babies (they're so tiny and fragile right?). For two weeks I lost sleep over the idea that I was pregnant...and then Andrew left a letter for me on our bed. It was a love letter, a support letter...a vow that he wanted to be a father, even if the timing was a little bit off. From the moment I found out I was pregnant, I knew this baby was mine, part of my body and here to stay. But hearing Andrew's words set my life back into line. Here we were: the next step of the journey. Fear aside and doubts aside, having this baby became the best part of who I was. (At least until labor when I became a beached manatee with a terrible temper and R-rated language.)

Nine months later, 20 hours of labor, 3 hours of pushing and finally, a c-section, Luke Avery made his way into the world at 9lbs 10oz (even though I initially dreaded it, thank god for that c-section!).

So here's to life and love unexpected ladies! A toast to all you mamas and mamas-to-be! Pregnancy is only the beginning and now we navigate uncharted waters with dark circles, adjusted night-vision, bottles and boobies!

Good luck to you all and more to come!

♥

Rae